Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
