"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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