i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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