I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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