im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
