ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
