i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
