how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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