Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
