its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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