the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
