Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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