just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
