just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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