You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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