Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
