remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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