I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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