last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
