The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
