I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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