i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize