if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
