20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize