I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
