Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
