no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
