If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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