dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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