I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
