But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
