That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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