3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm both gender and math confused
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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