i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
