i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
