you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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