is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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