I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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