Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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