i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
