Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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