ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
