i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
