just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize