it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
