Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
