why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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