So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
