i think my tv is drunk
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im holly from the hills drunk
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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