shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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