last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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