Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
