I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
