Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
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I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
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I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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