That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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