I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
