I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
