She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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