I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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