I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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