I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize