Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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